Alcohol is classed as a depressant since its slows down vital functions such as speech, movement, ability to react quickly and perceptions. Alcohol can affect the mind as it reduces one’s ability to think rationally and make the right judgement, probably why people die from drunkenness

This page contains funny and great drinking quotes as well as fun facts about alcohol you probably did not know or heard yet. So, read and enjoy.

Funny Drinking Quotes

Did you know that Sir Winston Churchill is also a great drunk?

“When I read about the evils of drinking I gave up reading.” ~ Henny Youngman

 

“24 hours in a day. 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.” ~ H.L. Mencken

 

“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.” ~ Frank Sinatra

 

“What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?” ~ W.C. Fields

 

“To some it’s a six-pack. To me it’s a Support Group.” ~ Leo Durocher

 

“I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.” ~ W.C. Fields

 

“The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” ~ Humphrey Bogart

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“Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.” ~ Dave Barry

 

“Work is the curse of the drinking classes.” ~ Oscar Wilde

 

“Remember ‘I’ before ‘E’, except in Budweiser.” ~ Professor Irwin Corey

 

“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.” ~ Henny Youngman

 

“You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.” ~ Dean Martin

 

“And God said, “Let there be vodka!” And He saw that it was good. Then God said, “Let there be light!” And then He said, “Whoa – too much light.” ~ Anonymous

 

“A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.” ~ W.C. Fields

 

“There’s too much blood in my alcohol system.” ~ Anonymous

 

“It takes only one drink to get me drunk…..the trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.” ~ George Burns

 

“A lady came up to me one day and said ‘Sir! You are drunk’, to which I replied ‘I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.”~ Winston S. Churchill

 

“I like to have a martini, Two at the very most. After three I’m under the table, after four I’m under my host.” ~ Dorothy Parker

 

“The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.” ~ Richard Braunstein

 

“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” ~ Benjamin Franklin

 

“In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.” ~ Benjamin Franklin

 

“Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer.” ~ Al Bundy

 

“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.” ~ Drew Carey

 

“I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around.” ~ Chelsea Handler

 

“Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.” ~ W.C. Fields

 

Irish Drinking Quotes

Did you know that the first U.S marine recruiting station is at a bar?

 

“Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.”~ Alex Levin

 

Famous Drinking Quotes

Did you know that fermented drinks such as wine and beer contain about 2% to 20% alcohol? Distilled drinks, or liquor on the other hand contain about 40% to 50% or more alcohol.

 

“The problem with the designated driver program, it’s not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.”~ Jeff Foxworthy

 

“I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it.” ~ Mark Twain

 

“The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life’s most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick and occasionally raise the dead, is to put bourbon in it.”~ Lewis Grizzard

 

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“Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.”-Fran Lebowitz

 

 

“My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.”-Henry Youngman

 

“It’s always difficult to make conversation with a drunk, and there’s no denying it, the sober are at a disadvantage with him.”-W. Somerset Maugham

 

“I’m taking Viagra and drinking prune juice – I don’t know if I’m coming or going.”-Rodney Dangerfield

 

Drink Quotes

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Did you know the usual alcohol content for beer is 2–6% alcohol, cider 4–8% alcohol, tequila 40% alcohol, brandy 40% or more alcohol, gin 40–47% alcohol, whiskey 40–50% alcohol, wine 8–20% alcohol, vodka 40–50% alcohol and Liqueurs 15–60% alcohol.

 

“It is better to hide ignorance, but it is hard to do this when we relax over wine.”-Heraclitus

 

“The wine urges me on, the bewitching wine, which sets even a wise man to singing and to laughing gently and rouses him up to dance and brings forth words which were better unspoken.”-Homer

 

“Nothing anyone says in a bar is true.”-Mark Ruffalo

 

“The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.”-Martin Mull

 

“One reason I don’t drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.”-Nancy Astor

 

“I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.”-Oscar Levant

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“Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it’s compounding a felony.”-Robert Benchley

“I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake–which I also keep handy.”- W. C. Fields

 

“Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.”-W. C. Fields

Quotes on Drinking

Did you know that the pressure in a champagne bottle is 90 lbs per sq inch, three times the pressure of an automobile tires?

 

“The problem with some people is that when they aren’t drunk they’re sober.”~ William Butler Yeats

 

“Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.” ~ Anonymous

 

“Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.” ~ George Bernard Shaw

 

“Alcohol removes inhibitions – like that scared little mouse who got drunk and shook his whiskers and shouted: “Now bring on that damn cat!”~ Eleanor Early

 

“Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the facts.” ~ Finley Peter Dunne

 

“When we drink we get drunk. When we get drunk we fall asleep. When we fall asleep we commit no sin. When we commit no sin we go to heaven. Sooooo, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven!” ~ Brian O’Rourke

 

“Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.”~ Winston Churchill

 

“Without question the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.” ~ Dave Barry

 

“He was a wise man who invented beer.” ~ Plato

 

“I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

 

“I drink to make other people more interesting.” ~ Ernest Hemingway

 

“I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.” ~ W.C. Fields

 

“Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” ~ Ernest Hemingway

 

“Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.” ~ Amrose Bierce

 

“Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.” ~ Dave Barry

 

“Scotch: Because one doesn’t solve the world’s problems over white wine.” ~ Anonymous

 

“Here’s to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life.” ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald

 

“My friends speak of my drinking…. but they know not of my thirst”~ Anonymous

 

“Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”~ Frank Sinatra

 

“An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.” ~ Ernest Hemingway

 

“Here’s to alcohol, the cause of — and solution to — all life’s problems.”~ Homer Simpson

 

“I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.” ~ Dorothy Parker

 

“If I had to live my life over, I’d live over a saloon.” ~ W.C. Fields

 

“All right, brain. You don’t like me and I don’t like you, but let’s just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.” ~ Homer Simpson

 

“Work is the curse of the drinking classes.”-Oscar Wilde

 

“To justify God’s ways to man.”-A. E. Housman

 

“Drink no longer water, but use a little wine for thy stomach’s sake.”-1 Timothy v. 23

 

“If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.-Dean Martin

 

“Bacchus hath drowned more men than Neptune.”-Dr. Thomas Fuller

 

“Water is the only drink for a wise man.”-Henry David Thoreau

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