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Funny Retirement Quotes, Sayings and Wishes




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Retirement is a part of life; it is bliss to every human. This is time to take rest and enjoy yourself with friends and family. Occasions celebrated with humor and fun will definitely be remembered by everyone. The occasion of retirement in the life of retirees is more crucial thing and if it is quoted with fun then it becomes fun occasion rather than sentimental one. How about giving the retiree a treat of good laugh with funny retirement quotes?

The occasion of retirement are quoted with fun by many people. Here on this section you can find funny retirement quotes, which will long last in your mind. Find every quote very much interesting that you yourself will start quoting in your own way. Below you find funny retirement quotes used to quote your boss, colleagues on their special occasion of retirement. May be you can use some of these quotes as retirement wishes for boss

Funny Retirement Quotes and Sayings

Retirement quotes funny, retirement funny quotes

funny-retirement-quotes

The best time to start thinking about
Your retirement is before the boss does.
– Anonymous

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When a man retires,
his wife gets twice the husband
but only half the income.
– Chi Chi Rodriguez

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I’m not just retiring from the company,
I’m also retiring from my stress, my commute,
My alarm clock, and my iron.
– Hartman Jule

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Before you speak, listen.
Before you write, think.
Before you spend, earn.
Before you invest, investigate.
Before you criticize, wait.
Before you pray, forgive.
Before you quit, try.
Before you retire, save.
Before you die, give.
– William A. Ward

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There are some who start their retirement
Long before they stop working.
– Robert Half

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Half our life is spent trying to find something to do
with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
– Will Rogers

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Don’t simply retire from something;
Have something to retire to.
Harry Emerson Fosdick

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When one door closes, another one opens,
but we often look so long and regretfully at the closed door
that we fail to see the one that has opened for us.
– Alexander Graham Bell

Funny Retirement Quotes for Teachers

Teaching is one of the professions where one would give their whole life and dedication. Hence, retiring from something that you will consider as your life is never easy. But you can keep it light by giving the teacher a retirement wishes that is humorous and funny. Give them a good laugh with these retirement funny quotes.

retirement-funny-quotes

There are three things to remember when teaching:
know your stuff; know whom you are stuffing;
and then stuff them elegantly.
– Lola May

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Old teachers never die;
They just grade away.
– Anonymous

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Retirement: It’s nice to get out of the rat race,
but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.
– Gene Perret

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A professor is one who talks in someone else’s sleep.
– W.H. Auden

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The challenge of retirement is
how to spend time without spending money.
– Unknown

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The splendid thing about education is that everyone wants it.
Like influenza, you can give it away without losing any of it yourself.
– Evelyn Waugh

Funny Retirement Quotes for Women

Do you know someone who’s going to retire soon? Don’t forget to grab a funny retirement gift that will keep his/her feeling light. Of course, partner it with these happy and funny retirement quotes and sayings that you can write in a gift note or retirement card. These will at least give them some a good smile.

funny-retirement-messages

Retirement is wonderful.
It’s doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.
– Gene Perret

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A retired husband is often a wife’s full-time job

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The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender

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Retirement is when you stop living at work and begin working at living

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In retirement, every day is Boss Day
And every day is Employee Appreciation Day.
~ Anonymous

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Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous,
When I was sixty-five –
I still had pimples
– George Burns

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Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache.
– Gene Perret

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Retirement is the time in your life
When time is no longer money.
– Unknown

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Retirement is when the living is easy and the payments are hard.
– Unknown

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The money is no better in retirement…
But the hours are!
– Unknown

Funny Retirement Quotes for Men

When a man retires and time
is no longer a matter of urgent importance,
his colleagues generally present him with a watch.
– R C Sherriff.

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Few men of action have been able to make
a graceful exit at the appropriate time.’
– Malcolm Muggeridge

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A man is known by the company
that keeps him on after retirement age.
– Unknown

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There’s one thing I always wanted to do before I quit… retire!
– Groucho Marx

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In retirement only money and symptoms are consequential
– Mason Cooley

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The challenge of retirement is
how to spend time without spending money

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When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces.
Women go right on cooking.
– Gail Sheehy

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In your retirement years never drink coffee at lunch;
It will keep you awake in the afternoon.
– Unknown

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Retirement is like being out of school for the summer
but the summer never ends.
– Unknown

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When you retire, think and act as if you were still working;
When you’re still working, think and act a bit
As if you were already retired

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He who laughs last at the boss’s jokes
probably isn’t far from retirement.
– Unknown

Funny Retirement Wishes Quotes

I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work.
So I do it three or four times a day.
– Gene Perret

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I have never liked working.
To me a job is an invasion of privacy
– Danny McGorty

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A gold watch is the most appropriate gift for retirement,
as its recipients have given up so many of their
golden hours in a lifetime of service.
– Harry Mahtar

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First you forget names; then you forget faces;
then you forget to zip up your fly;
and then you forget to unzip your fly.
– Branch Rickey

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I’m retired –
goodbye tension,
hello pension!
– Anonymous

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If you are going to throw a club,
it is important to throw it ahead of you,
down the fairway,
so you don’t have to waste energy going back to pick it up.
– Tommy Bolt

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Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas.
The goal is to enjoy it the fullest,
But not so fully that you run out of money.
– Jonathan Clements

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