1: Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
2: life always offers you a second chance. It’s called tomorrow.
3: I ‘m not arguing. I’m simply explaining why I’m right.
4: Respect your haters. They are the ones who think you are better than them.
5: “Me: I’m finally happy. Life: Lol, wait a sec.”
6: All my life I thought air was free… until I bought a bag of chips.
7: life doesn’t have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.”
8: Life is too short to be serious all the time. So, if you can’t laugh at yourself, call me… I’ll laugh at you.
9: we are all born crazy. Some of us remain that way.
10: People say you can’t live without love…. I think oxygen is more important.
11: When life shuts a door…. Open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.
12: sometimes I pretend to be normal. But it gets boring. So I go back to being me.
13: life is a bitch so learn how to fuck it.
14: I am the boss but my wife is a decision-maker.
15: we mature with the damage, not with the years.
16: caring less is the easiest way to be happy.
17: My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them.
18: My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.
19: To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid.
20: I’ve learned so much from my mistakes, I’m thinking of making a few more
21: Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.
22: Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it’s a brighter day.
23: There’s life without Facebook and Internet? Really? Send me the link.
24: When you fall, I will be there to catch you – With love, the floor.
25: Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
26: Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
27: Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
28: “I’m sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It’s just been too intelligent to come here.”-Arthur C. Clarke
29: “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”Albert Einstein
30: “The planet is fine. The people are fucked.” – George Carlin
31: “If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?” – Albert Einstein
32: “Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carey
33: “I love deadlines, I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams
34: it’s frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the question.
35: Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. -will rogers
36: All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.
37: Anybody can win, unless there happens to be A second entry.
38: The hardest years in life are those between then and seventy. – Helen hayes
39: crying doesn’t help anything, try your luck with violent mood swings.
40: everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film. -steven wright
41: my philosophy in life: have no philosophy.
42: That strange point in life where even my wallet hurls abuses at me.
43: life is too short to remove USB safely
44: Life begins where your comfort zone ends.
45: Life is really simple but we insist on making it complicated.
46: The road to success is always under construction.
47: People wait all week for Friday, all year for summer, all life for happiness.
48: Run for your life! There are stupid people everywhere!
49: Life is not a problem to be solved but a reality to be experienced.