Funny Quotes about Life

1: Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

2: life always offers you a second chance. It’s called tomorrow.

3: I ‘m not arguing. I’m simply explaining why I’m right.

4: Respect your haters. They are the ones who think you are better than them.

5:  “Me: I’m finally happy. Life: Lol, wait a sec.”

6: All my life I thought air was free… until I bought a bag of chips.

7: life doesn’t have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.”

8: Life is too short to be serious all the time. So, if you can’t laugh at yourself, call me… I’ll laugh at you.

9: we are all born crazy. Some of us remain that way.

10: People say you can’t live without love….  I think oxygen is more important.

11: When life shuts a door…. Open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

12: sometimes I pretend to be normal. But it gets boring. So I go back to being me.

13: life is a bitch so learn how to fuck it.

14: I am the boss but my wife is a decision-maker.

15: we mature with the damage, not with the years.

16: caring less is the easiest way to be happy.

17: My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them.

18: My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

19: To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid.

20: I’ve learned so much from my mistakes, I’m thinking of making a few more

21: Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

22: Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it’s a brighter day.

23: There’s life without Facebook and Internet? Really? Send me the link.

24: When you fall, I will be there to catch you – With love, the floor.

25:  Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.

26: Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

27: Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

28: “I’m sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It’s just been too intelligent to come here.”-Arthur C. Clarke

29: “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”Albert Einstein

30: “The planet is fine. The people are fucked.” – George Carlin

31: “If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?” – Albert Einstein

32: “Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carey

33: “I love deadlines, I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams

34: it’s frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the question.

35: Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. -will rogers

36: All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.

37: Anybody can win, unless there happens to be A second entry.

38: The hardest years in life are those between then and seventy. – Helen hayes

39: crying doesn’t help anything, try your luck with violent mood swings.

40: everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film. -steven wright

41: my philosophy in life: have no philosophy.

42: That strange point in life where even my wallet hurls abuses at me.

43: life is too short to remove USB safely

44: Life begins where your comfort zone ends.

45: Life is really simple but we insist on making it complicated.

46: The road to success is always under construction.

47: People wait all week for Friday, all year for summer, all life for happiness.

48: Run for your life! There are stupid people everywhere!

49: Life is not a problem to be solved but a reality to be experienced.

50: don’t give up on your dreams. Keep sleeping.